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Adam's story

I'm a 31 year old male and I have gambled once in the last seven months. The profound effect after years of gambling it is having is amazing and I want everyone to feel this.

I started when I went to Las Vegas back in 2010. I got hooked by roulette it took away all my pain and left it on the side. I was overcome, the lights the spin of the ball, the privateness of gambling appealed to me. It was me and the table that was it.

On returning to the UK I used Internet roulette, and the machines in the bookies. I won ten grand one day, all gone within a week back on the table. My despair lasted until I could get my fix. My life was falling apart. I was in tonnes of debt. Taking money off my mum like it was going out of fashion. The depravities I sank to make my stomach drop just thinking about it.

I hated myself more and more. I decided enough was enough and that I could blame my pain for this or I could deal with the things that were going wrong and address them separately. Slowly over time I made small changes (still gambling) but the extent lessened. I started to see that the small changes I was making had an effect. At the time it feels like nothing you feel like it's pointless. I know as a gambler my imagination is wild. I just looked at my life and saw it was nowhere near where I wanted to be, so all these little changes I was making took around three years to get me where I am today.

I promise you one thing: gambling for me was to do with how I felt about myself and pain I hadn't dealt with in my life. When I had sorted these the buzz of gambling didn't seem so alluring.

I don't know if this is going to help anyone but I just wanted to write it, even if it sparks off one idea on someone (like many posts I've read have).

I looked at what I was doing wrong. That's tough but it really helped me. My beginning point was just writing ten things down a day I am grateful for. 1. Food 2. Water etc. Make it a habit as it takes time, well it did for me, to really get my brain grateful. After this things changed for me. I saw an amazing therapist who got to the core of my pain. I want to leave this as a last gift as I know how low it can be when you're gambling.

There are amazing positives to not doing it.

  1. Credit scores gone up naturally
  2. Sense of achievement
  3. More time to spend on things I love
I hope this helps someone and hasn't sounded condescending like I 'know it all' as I really don't.

Keep going and never give up giving up!