I'm a 31 year old male and I have gambled once in the last seven months. The profound effect after years of gambling it is having is amazing and I want everyone to feel this.
I started when I went to Las Vegas back in 2010. I got hooked by roulette it took away all my pain and left it on the side. I was overcome, the lights the spin of the ball, the privateness of gambling appealed to me. It was me and the table that was it.
On returning to the UK I used Internet roulette, and the machines in the bookies. I won ten grand one day, all gone within a week back on the table. My despair lasted until I could get my fix. My life was falling apart. I was in tonnes of debt. Taking money off my mum like it was going out of fashion. The depravities I sank to make my stomach drop just thinking about it.
I hated myself more and more. I decided enough was enough and that I could blame my pain for this or I could deal with the things that were going wrong and address them separately. Slowly over time I made small changes (still gambling) but the extent lessened. I started to see that the small changes I was making had an effect. At the time it feels like nothing you feel like it's pointless. I know as a gambler my imagination is wild. I just looked at my life and saw it was nowhere near where I wanted to be, so all these little changes I was making took around three years to get me where I am today.
I promise you one thing: gambling for me was to do with how I felt about myself and pain I hadn't dealt with in my life. When I had sorted these the buzz of gambling didn't seem so alluring.
I don't know if this is going to help anyone but I just wanted to write it, even if it sparks off one idea on someone (like many posts I've read have).
I looked at what I was doing wrong. That's tough but it really helped me. My beginning point was just writing ten things down a day I am grateful for. 1. Food 2. Water etc. Make it a habit as it takes time, well it did for me, to really get my brain grateful. After this things changed for me. I saw an amazing therapist who got to the core of my pain. I want to leave this as a last gift as I know how low it can be when you're gambling.
There are amazing positives to not doing it.
- Credit scores gone up naturally
- Sense of achievement
- More time to spend on things I love
Keep going and never give up giving up!