Anonymous's story

I think my mother’s problem with gambling probably started after my father died in traumatic circumstances due to a hospital error. Before that they were both social gamblers who would occasionally enjoy outings to clubs and spend a few dollars on the pokies.

After my father’s death my mother took out a mortgage to help pay for house repairs and general expenses. I now realise that she probably spent most of it on gambling on the pokies and that she kept renewing that mortgage regularly over the next 11 years.

Eventually she had to sell her house. It was a large house and hadn't been well maintained and the repairs that had been completed were minimal. The money she got for it was also substantially reduced because of the amount she owed to the bank. In fact I suspect the bank probably forced the sale.

The money she had leftover was spent on renting a unit. She refused to listen to advice on purchasing something small and cheap within her budget. The end result has been that she hasn't been able to maintain her rent and we have had to step in again to help find accommodation. Also discovered when cleaning up her mess that she hasn't been paying the rent and that her bank statements show huge amounts being withdrawn at ATMs situated in clubs and hotels = hundreds of dollars a day.

When confronted with our suspicions about her gambling, she of course denies it. She makes up elaborate and yet oddly believable stories about why she has to move and why she has no money. For example, her electricity bill is enormous – well that's believable because we all know how much these bills have increased and yet it doesn't quite ring true given that she lives in such a small unit.

I think her decision to rent and not buy was so that she could have access to a large sum of cash to continue her gambling. She also inherited some money from her father's business. All of it has gone.

When I ask or confront her she denies everything. She refuses to acknowledge she has a problem. She lies about what she is doing. She makes promises about the future  that we all know aren't possible or to bribe us with (e.g. 'Never mind you'll inherit your grandmother's money' ... or 'when I win the lottery I’ll share it with you').

I want to know why can't relatives have some power to get clubs to exclude problem gamblers? Why shouldn't these clubs pay a levy to support families coping with the aftermath of a gamblers life (e.g. there will be no money in my mother's estate to pay for her funeral when it happens  what do we do, my sister and I have no money?).

I hate gambling and would like to see it gone!