Anonymous's story

My partner of 2.5 years lied to me about gambling for the past year of our relationship.

When we first got together he gambled a lot. I didn't think much of it, and it was only the beginning of being together. After a night out at the casino with his friends he came to me and asked me to help him to stop gambling because he learnt that night he could not control himself. I took the role seriously and controlled his betting and when he had to stop. 

He lied to me once about his gambling and I was so hurt. How could he lie to the one person he asked to help him quit? He promised me he would never lie again and he would stop. I believed him. For the past year of our relationship I believed he had quit. I would ask him regularly how he was feeling and he would always tell me 'I'm doing great, haven't been tempted at all'. I would always praise him and tell him how proud I am of him. 

He became very secretive about his phone ... and I never understood why. He used to ask me to read his messages aloud to him, but for the past year he would get so mad if I was near his phone. I never knew why. I had a bad feeling, but I trusted him. He then started asking to borrow money (hundreds per week) and would tell me the bank took money out for his loan, the same week he put money towards it, so he had nothing left. He manipulated me and made me believe he just had too many bills to pay, despite earning three times what I was earning. I trusted him. Silly me. He was always borrowing money because he couldn't afford to pay off his loan and his bills. 

Recently I decided to log onto his Sports Bet account (invasion of privacy, I know, but I needed some peace of mind). Turns out he NEVER stopped betting. He bets about six times a day. Hundreds of dollars a week. And was borrowing MY money to do it. I have never felt so betrayed and hurt. The past two years he has 4500 bets!!! Turns out he would bet from his phone, which is why he never let me near it. When I confronted him about it, he said he felt NO GUILT about lying to me for so long.

We have since split ... there were other issues too, but how can you come back from that? All the lies! He wouldn't seek help, even if it meant losing me. I'm devastated. His friends are gamblers too, so he is surrounded by bad influences. He earns $55,000–$60,000 a year and has no savings!!! Only a car he is still paying off, which he struggles to do so because he gambles so much money.

It is really hard. I love him, but after reading the stories on Gambler's Help, I have learnt that a gambler is selfish and will only think of themselves. Get away while you can. I know it is incredibly painful, but I know I'm saving myself so much heartache further down the track.