Brandy's story
My husband and I met 5 years ago. I knew gambling was part of his life and never knew it was a big problem for him since he seemed okay when I was with him. A few years ago we moved to a small town for my job.
As his boredom set in apparently his gambling habits increased. I stated realising he was having a hard time controlling himself and I started going with him when I could so I could convince him to leave. I'm not innocent in the situation we are in now days.
I've sat and played with him, covered his overdrafts day after day and basically allowed him to continue on this path.
Fast forward to now and we had a baby, got married, have had to take on several large loans, lost my life savings of $10,000 which for a 25 year old is a huge amount.
I'm always feeling like I'm drowning in debt due to his addiction. I work myself so hard all day all week and have a good job. However we still end up living pay check to pay check and often that's not even enough.
I've had to borrow from family and friends just to pay rent in the summers when I don't get a check since I'm a teacher and he has blown his. He has collections to also pay and currently hasn't been working.
He lies to me all the time and either shuts me out or blows up on me when I try to discuss the problem. I love him and understand things have been hard for him so far from his friends and hard after his accident.
I just don't understand how he can know everything we have to pay and still spend everything we have. It's especially frustrating when we have a daughter who has had a lot a needs and medical issues and he gets mad when I say we should have spent it on her.
The day before our baby was born he gambled the money we needed so he pawned his wheelchair to try to make up for it. He then tells me that I shouldn't go into labour 'til I get paid in two days so he can get his chair back. I ended up having to ask my folks for money on the day I gave birth and the next day my husband was barely at the hospital because he was running around to pawn shops trying to make things ok before my folks came to our house. We have pawned so many items that we almost have anything of pawnshop value gone.
I think his ideas are not cruel in intention and that he just wants to do well so things can be better but he just can't stop himself and then he gets disappointed and when everything is gone he doesn't want to answer to anyone about what happened. I understand all thus but am realising that if things don't change and he doesn't seek help, then I will have to take my daughter and leave. I finally warned him of this very seriously and he said he didn't want to hear it. :(
As I work to make money he will spend it. He is supposed to take care of our baby during the day since he has no job right now. I found out he has been going to the casino during the day and hasn't had anyone watching her. I have no idea what makes him think he is okay to leave a 1 year old at home when she is napping and go gamble!!!
All the while I'm the idiot who assumes he is fine at home with her. What if something happened to her? Now his gambling us putting my daughter at risk and I'm past money help.
The problem is that I'm now so far in debt that without his one disability check he gets each month, I can't pay the bills. I need out and freedom from the pain gambling addiction has created.
Been very helpful since I last expressed my concerns. I go to work and try to hold it together and have a good day and I'll get a call or text saying that if I want my bill payment to go through then I better get someone to lend us $150 by 5 pm or figure a way to come up with it on my own. It's embarrassing and depressing.
My advice is if you think there is a problem, insist they get help and if they don't get out of the situation and save yourself from the debt and heartache.