Calo's story

G'day, I'm a 28 year old male with a pokie gambling addiction. It all started on my 18th birthday when my father introduced me to the pokies, he gave me $50 and we sat and played together for a few minutes doing $1.25 presses, after losing it I thought it was stupid and didn't see what the big deal was, both my parents had gambling problems and I'd recall ringing my mother to hear pokies in the background as she would play after work.

I've always had a bit of a addictive personality, I like to drink, smoke ciggies and pot. I started gambling more when I got a full time job at 19, I had money, although only getting $600 or so a week I would always be going to the pub on payday to drink and play pokies, I'd had some small wins, from putting In $20 and winning a few hundred or a grand, I was hooked, I found my self going to the pub at lunch while at work, blowing my weeks pay in my hour break, having no money for food or rent and relying on my mum. I fell into depression at age 20 and was suicidal and on highest dose of antidepressants. I left my job and was on Centrelink payments for around five years, just drinking smoking pot and gambling the $500 I got a fortnight.

There would be times I'd get drunk at a club and win $1000, drink drive to another pub and put it all through. Waking up with the gambling hangover and depression I hated my self that I continued to do it, over the past 10 years there hasn't been one week where I haven't put money into the pokies, the most I've ever won in one session was around $3000, but I'd estimate I would of blown near $100,000, over the years.

I started back at work again, my depression is much better than it was and I'm feeling better about my self, its only been 5 months and I've pretty much put everything I earn into the pokies still, tonight I got paid $700, I owe my mum money and payday lenders, yet I couldn't make it to the shop to buy food without dropping in the pub, thinking I'll just put in $50, an hour later I've withdrawn all my cash leaving me $20 for the week to live on.

I'm writing this as a first step to acknowledging my addiction. Reading others' stories helps to not feel so alone and that it can be something that can be overcome. I hope my stories can do the same.