Compulsive gambler's story
Well .. I don’t even know where to start from..
It all started with a very small bet at around the age of 14. I found myself into a lottery shop in my hometown hearing the others talking about how much money they could win IF the x team wins and so on. It is obvious what happened next .
I was only spending my pocket money which was very small at that time and no one could know about. The beginner luck applied for myself as well.. after 12 years , today as I am writing this story I found myself with no money on my name, about $50.000 losses and around $20.000 debts on my name.
Few months ago my gambling addiction degenerates and I started doing things that I never thought I would be capable to do.
So “my secret” pleasure becomes official in front of my family and close friends . I couldn’t keep up with the lies no more so I had to tell the truth to my dad and mom. I left my job and went back home for a while just so I can get out of the toxic cycle that I was into. The cycle which destroyed my life and the people I care about.
I am a man of extremes .. and that’s very dangerous when you have an addiction like this. I would win $15.000 in one day and lose it all the day after. I could have paid most of my debts with that money but guess what... I didn’t. (It actually feels good writing this down , I read lots of stories but never” had the time” to write my own ).
What happened lately was a very very heavy slap which somehow woke me up to reality.. I am struggling every day since to stop going back ... and get back on track with my life . The most difficult thing to overcome is the loss of self respect.
I have isolated myself completely and I find it difficult to reintegrate . I can’t even look someone in the eyes. It’s the worst addiction possible. That feeling made me to go back again and again to the thing that hurts me ,my girlfriend and family so much.
Thank you all for sharing your stories .. this is just 0.0001% of mine but I hope it will make some of you feel better … knowing that you are not alone in this mess which we create for ourselves.