J – Son of a gambler's story

First off, I want to say that I have an amazing father, and hate to question anything he says/does, even if I know he's making a mistake.

Up until I was in high school I had no idea my dad had a problem, his bills were always paid and he never denied me or my brother the things most kids want (nice clothes, newest video games, $20 to spend once in a while). The problem with gambling, whether it's horse racing, lottery tickets, machines, is that it doesn't matter how much you make, it isn't that hard to spend a full paycheck in a day.

Problem gamblers can't control themselves much like drug addicts, except because they are not smoking something they think they don't have a problem. That is my dad's issue. His excuse – 'well my bills are always paid, I'm not going hungry and there is food in the fridge, I have decent furniture, I have a working vehicle ... All my extra money goes to credit card debt and loan payments'.

Why should a man that has been making well over a $100,000 a year on the oil field have to take out loans, have God knows how many credit cards maxed (tens of thousands of dollars, cards at their limit), and be at the maximum your overdraft will allow?

Why does an almost 60 year-old man, my hero beyond heroes, say to me that one day he will need to live in my basement because he won't be able to retire? The worst part is – he is not too old to get out of this slump. He's currently making $800 a day up north yet when he comes home every 3 weeks he's back on his computer, betting online horse racing.

Two days after coming home/cashing his huge cheque, 'times are really tight right now, I need to get back to work!' It's making me miserable to see him like this. I have no problem supporting him once I'm married (I doubt the girlfriend will be happy once we marry and he's living in our basement!) but to give him that option to just give up now when it would only take him a couple months of not betting to right his ship; pay off the credit cards and loans, and then if he feels he needs to gamble set a responsible limit. Another issue is that his wife doesn't know the extent of it, hell neither do I! If she did she would leave him, and that worries him. Even though they make each other miserable but that's a different story.

But at least I try to talk to him about it. Him chasing trifecta after trifecta has ruined his chance at a stable retirement. He's worked so hard for 40 years, when you add up all that he must have made in that time it's much more than 1 or 2 million dollars, but yet he still says he never will be able to own his own house, go on a trip, etc.

The problem is, you can go on an all inclusive trip for $1500, he makes that in two days! I'm starting to think he's making bets while he's out of town, because he's always broke within a week of being home, and his excuse is that his bills are causing it, well his rent and everything else adds up to $2250 max, and as for credit card debt (which he shouldn't have because he never goes anywhere or does anything except work!) all he does is make minimum payments thus only paying interest and keeping himself standing still. He could pay off one credit card each time he goes out of town, still have money to have fun, and be back on track by the end of winter. I've cried over the insanity of it all, and he just assures me there is no problem. He will never admit he has a problem thus he will never get help.

To all of the gamblers that think they are only hurting themselves you are sadly mistaken, your family feels your pain as well just in different ways. I will always love and admire my dad for how amazingly hard he has worked (and still is, as I write this!).

Working on the rigs is a lonely life and a young man’s game, but just because you do doesn't mean you need to be a stereotype. Be the exception. I doubt this helps anyone, maybe it will though.

Just know that it doesn't matter how much you could have won off of that superfecta, because if you have a gambling addiction it will swallow everything up. Whether you're making a million a month or living on welfare.

You're never too old to get help and turn things around even if you feel helpless and miserable all of the time. There are much better non-destructive ways to spend your time. Good luck to everyone.

By the way, if you came to this site by your own accord, you're already halfway there. Taking your problem to the grave isn't the answer, this disease has ruined too many amazing people and their families.