I've often wondered what I find so appealing in gambling. I mean nothing good has ever come from it except the short-term high of a win. I used to think of it as an escape where I could wipe everything else out of my mind but really I was only ever adding to whatever made me feel that way in the first place.
I've lied, stolen and used every excuse to obtain money to support my addiction. I've deceived no one except myself on really how bad I've become. I have a loving family, beautiful kids and partner that I've recklessly abandoned to seek out this high. I've pushed everyone that loves me to the point of not wanting to even look at me. I'm a smart guy that should know better but here I sit, sleeping in my car because I've hurt those closest to me. I am not wanted in my home because of the lies, deception and thorough lack of honesty to them and myself.
So I'm here today, telling myself today is the start of a new life. A commitment made silently to myself to be the father I should be, the partner I've neglected to be and the son they wanted me to be. I say this with conviction, that anyone that feels the same as I do it's time to be humble and honest.
Seek the help on offer, seek the help that is needed and never turn back. Honesty and love is worth everything. Money, greed and the gambling high is worth zero.