Jill's story

I was so naive. It would never happen to me. I didn't even know how to put money into a pokie machine! If I purchase a scratchie and win nothing, I feel terrible.

But the comfortable cocoon of safety within my home and my marriage changed forever 12 months ago, when my husband confided in me that he was gambling.

I had been told by a few friends that they had seen him in venues on machines but when I asked him he would either deny it or just say he had time to kill and had just popped in. Little did I know that his waking hours were consumed with the time the venues opened and how much he had to play with.

I was constantly wondering where our money was going as he had nothing to show for it. There was always an excuse and being busy with two young kids I really did not have time to dwell on it too much.

But when he became sick and so stressed I found him curled on the bed in the fetal position I knew that something was not right. He finally admitted he had been gambling and had taken out two extra credit cards and had maxed them and the worry of how to pay them back with out me knowing was too much. He had to tell me. When he did tell me, I said 'I know you have' … I don’t know why I said that other than I assume I must have subconsciously known what was happening. Thus began the roller coaster of living with a gambler.

My husband’s addiction stems from post traumatic stress syndrome. He has, I do admit, experienced some pretty traumatic things within his life. Being a bloke he never dealt with them. Just bottled them up with the 'it’s all ok … I'm fine …' standard reply. 

Well how wrong was he! We have discovered since that he gambles not to try to win but to escape the reality of his busy life, from responsibility. To be able to close himself off from the world and not have to think of anything important is his release.

The Gambler's Help phoneline has been fantastic for us both and combined with a trip to the doctor and a great psychologist I can see light at the end of the tunnel but there have been a few slip ups on the way. He has had to admit to himself that he is not Superman, and that it’s ok to share one’s feelings and to trust in me to help. I have said I will leave with the kids if it continues. It doesn’t just effect him … it affects us ALL!

I will say though, he did put himself on the exclusion list and in theory it sounds great, but he has since been four times to four different venues and has not been picked up. The only warning letter he has received is because I rang one of the venues when I found out and dobbed him in myself! I wish this system worked how it is supposed too.

This is a hard road for us all to travel. It is one of heartbreak and frustration. One of the sadness in the kid’s eyes as we have to once again tell them we can’t go places because we have no money. I hope for us and all others out there that the nightmare gambling can bring to us will soon stop. Good luck!