Joy's story

I have been gambling for 30 years. First pokies, now online.

I have times of control then a blowout and this weekend it was a blowout of $4000 in less than an hour. I am over it and want to stop.

The stages after a major loss or any loss is first deep shame and a feeling of sickness ... after 24 hours I start to justify what I have done, within a week I am ready to go again.

If I was in my partner's position I would be devastated at such a useless loss of money, our money.

The urges once they hit are all consuming and up until now I just give in. I want to stop ... I want to feel normal ... but I don't know how. This is a horrible addiction.