Lynda's story

Lynda Genser, photo: Darcy Conlan
In search of a fresh start
by Lynda Genser
I first started playing the pokies back in 1992, when they were introduced in Victoria. My very first time, I put in five cents and won $100. I thought that my good luck was going to last forever.
I remember my husband saying we needed some money and dropping me off at the pokies venue. At that stage, I funded my gambling with my business. I probably knew it was becoming a problem, but I wouldn’t admit it.
My husband and I separated a few years after I started gambling and I didn’t take it well. My children tried to help by asking me to stop gambling but then I became more secretive. I used to go out of my own area to gamble so I wouldn’t be found out.
I couldn’t afford my rent. I couldn’t afford food.
At the same time, I became the executive director at a charity, but my salary wasn’t enough. I couldn’t afford my rent. I couldn’t afford food.
They would give me blank cheques and let me put the amount in for office purchases, but I would add an extra $500 or $1,000 to the cheque, pocket the difference and spend it gambling.
I ended up taking $84,000 from them in less than two years.
Facing the music
What I did was wrong, and I knew I had to do something about my problem. I didn’t want my family to have to watch me ‘face the music’, so the only solution I saw was planning my suicide.
Fortunately, my son found me first and I told him what I did. We called my employer and the police, and I admitted what I’d done while my son held my hand. I told the treasurer, who happened to be my best friend, and she hasn’t spoken to me since that day. Then I told my other children, one of whom is a police officer.
I admitted what I’d done while my son held my hand.
The organisation said they wanted to charge me, and a case was built against me based on what I told them. I managed to get off with a good behaviour bond although, of course, I lost my job.
But I kept gambling in spite of everything that had happened.
Looking for help
I went to Gambler’s Help and they were marvellous when I was in one-on-one counselling. But the moment I was put into group therapy, I was listening to everyone talk about how they’d won or lost, which became a trigger for my gambling.
After three years of going to counselling less and less often, I tried to manage my own gambling. It took a few more years before I realised I had to change. I had a choice between my family and my gambling.
Every pregnancy from my kids, I was asked to stop gambling. I’m lucky enough to have seven grandchildren, including a grandson who was born in 2006. My daughter said that if I wanted to be involved in her son’s life, I had to stop. It took until he was born for me to realise I had to quit to protect the relationships with my family who stood by me.
The last time I gambled was August 2006, but we made the anniversary September 1st because that had also been my wedding anniversary. That was my special day and I still keep it that way.
I had to quit to protect the relationships with my family who stood by me.
I haven’t had any relapses. I gave up cold turkey and, for the first six months, I’d drive out of my way not to pass pokies venues.
I continue to get support from the team at Child and Family Services Ballarat and found the most understanding person. I had nightmares that I’d gone back to gambling but she got me out of that rut.
Battling stigma and new beginnings
I tell people that I’m a gambler and I always will be, but I don’t gamble anymore.
Gambling on the pokies is like having a frontal lobotomy. You sit there and listen to the music and it relaxes you, but at the same time you’ve got adrenaline surging. That was what I used as a coping mechanism, but it takes over your whole world and you become stunted.
I tell people that I’m a gambler and I always will be, but I don’t gamble anymore.
Now I’m a member of the Victorian Responsible Gambling Foundation’s Lived Experience Advisory Committee. I decided to join when my daughter-in-law saw an ad and said, ‘I know you’ll be good at this. You’re really supportive.’
I hope that by being part of this committee, I can help other people. I’m going to try my darndest to make a difference and hopefully help even just one person stop gambling.