Mariam's story

I have a son who is now 21 years old, I cannot express how much his gambling habit has affected us. He has actually lost thousands. I have tried various things including sending him overseas for a change of scenery which seemed to help and he calmed down a lot but lately I feel like he may be doing it again on the sly however as a victim you start recognising the signs.

I work but my wage does not last, he lies about what he does with the money, he wants to pay back his debts he says but I realise I have been feeding his habit. He has a good heart but once that itch to gamble comes in he has a split personality and seems to be bullying me to borrow off people just so he can have that money.

In his head it seems he wants to get back what he has lost, he has lost thousands in one night in the past, I am in debt and feel embarrassed owing people who I cannot pay back, I am on a low income and my wage does not last 2 weeks as its all gone on bills which I pay straight away when my wage has cleared as I know it will not get paid otherwise, I have spoken to him and said that 'money has gone, you need to work and get your life in order'.

I am worried that this is not going to go away, I worry for him but it’s my younger daughter and older one who are also affected as I cannot afford things for the younger one and always borrow off the older one to keep us going from week-to-week. I do not give my son money to feed the habit any more, I used to do it for peace-of-mind as he was unbearable to live with, I have threatened to kick him out but do not want him on the streets. He has promised not to do it but I feel its still there but hidden. He borrows off friends if not me to feed this habit, it’s a nightmare!

I have been behind with our bills, I am on a low income myself and have borrowed off family and friends to keep us going food wise, electricity and gas top-ups from week-to-week, I am feeling depressed myself and feel like a failure. I have tried everything and have now lost hope, I do not know what to do. I have neglected my other children because of this and I am fed up with it, yet I cannot turn my back on my son as he needs help ... I feel sorry for anyone with this problem or with a sibling or child with this problem as it affects us all ...

The gambling problem I believe is a mental illness, maybe people start by trying to fill a void in their life. It is an addiction which is very hard to beat. Many different emotions come with it such as if they win they are on a real high but if they lose they feel anger, depressed, disappointment in themselves and a desire to win it back ...