My problem with gambling started in December 2017 when I struggled financially, owing my aunty money and when my parents planned a huge first birthday for my son that I couldn't afford.
I began spending $100 on pokie machines thinking that I would be able to win the jackpot. From then on, it became $200 a week and quickly transformed into $500 and now I'm spending $4000 in money that isn't even mine to play the pokies. I feel so ashamed of myself. I never thought I would become this person, and here I am today with my husband, and my parents sharing my shame. My husband and parents are such good people, I don't understand why I'm doing this to them.
I have two children both under the age of two. I can't even afford to put good food on the table for my children. They're both still babies, and I hope this problem stops before they grow old enough to know and understand all the dumb things their mother is doing.
I don't even enjoy playing poker machines. It's just the feeling of chasing back the losses that I do it. I don't realise until it's too late that instead of chasing the losses, I'm losing so much more.
It's just the beginning of 2019 and I've already stuffed up this year. I want to change. I need to change. I'm still so young; I have so many hopes and aspirations for the future. If there's any reason that I should change, it would be for my husband and my children. Especially my children.