Nicole's story

Where do I start? I'm 27 years old I have two children aged 5 and almost 2. I am without a doubt a compulsive gambler and I need serious help.

I've always enjoyed a punt on the horses – nothing extreme, nothing that I would consider a 'problem' just enjoyed. Broke up with the father of my children in January 2013 went to the pub one weekend to watch the races and have a few bets. Think I took $100 with me for bets/drinks, etc, anyway was out the back having a smoke and thought I may as well put $10 in a pokie machine while I'm smoking – BIGGEST mistake I’ve ever made in my life.

For someone who had never played before, I was addicted the minute I put that money in. Needless to say I walked out of there with over $3000. I was so happy, life was great, went back the next day with $100 and won again I thought this was great. Didn't go back for a week but they [pokie machines] were all I thought about, the minute the kids went to their dads I was there week-in week-out some days winning, some days loosing.

After two months of this I started upping my bets I started going there everyday I started putting whole pay cheques in and losing. The addiction had taken over.

I am now $40,000 in debt and just put my whole $900 pay cheque through the pokies this week. I'm facing bankruptcy, it's Christmas – I have done no shopping. I have pawned all my goods I owe $1000 to the pawn shop to recover it all.

I can honestly say this has all happened in the space of 11 months. I have started seeing a gambling counsellor only once and I’ve gambled since and won $840, then $600 but put every last cent plus my $900 pay back through the machines that same day. I am going to start attending Gamblers Anonymous (GA) next week plus my one-on-one gambling counselling in hopes I can rid of the awful addiction, I have told my family and needless to say if I gamble again I am all alone.

I have one chance to make this right, I'm terrified I will fail but also positive I can do it. I need to learn to save money again but feel having $1000 in a savings account isn't enough anymore as I’ve spent that much in the pokies within an hour.

I hope I can get through this and learn the value of the dollar again because the damage I’ve caused in less than one year is horrific I would hate to think the situation I would be in another year or five.

I wish there was an easy way to stop. I hope the counselling and GA works but I'm scared it won't. I feel I'm so addicted that nothing will make me stop. They are all I think about. How did this happen? I've had the same two jobs for well over seven years up until a month ago when I left one of them as it was getting to hard with two children. How does an addiction be so strong and cause so much damage in a short amount of time?