Rachael's story

I was 18 just finishing school and you were 31 when we started to become an item, you were funny, smart, motivated, young at heart, helpful, loved the outdoors and adventure. I soon moved out of home and up to Sydney with you.

Playing the pokie machines became the norm for you when we went out and drinking was mine. I had our first son when I was almost 21, very young and inexperienced in this world.

Soon after, the gambling didn't stop I was left home by myself to ring around the pubs to see when you would be home, having dinner by myself and my son, waiting for you to be home after work when you said you would, what an idiot I was.

Second son by the time I was 23 engaged to be married, I called off the wedding due to your irresponsible nature.

Things got better, a marriage happened, and life went on. You didn't gamble every day but it was the main cause for stress, fighting, lack of trust, responsibility and communication it took such a toll on me. A back operation for you with depression, abusing prescription drugs the gambling and drinking seem to consume you. Many times I wanted to walk away but tried to forgive you for all the times you hurt me and weren’t there when you said you would, I left you twice and both times things seem to go good for a while.

I tried every possible way to try and control the money so you wouldn't go a spurge, I tried to support you, encourage you, be angry with you, ignore you, get you help BUT nothing helped.

We were together for 12 years and married for six. In our last year after you spent both our wages and I was exhausted from working, studying, kids, renovating you told me that I just had to accept it will always be like this.

The year went on renovations were complete and we were so far apart emotionally that I couldn't stand you. Everything was on my shoulders in regards to money because you gambled, bills, food, children.

After all that I had put up with from you supported you stuck up for you all came to nothing. I left you a month later and it's been such a struggle. You told me you only gambled twice since I left two years ago but have since heard that’s a lie. I have grown up a lot and feel glad to not have that sort of pressure put back on me anymore.

You are responsible for your own behaviour.